50 First Projects
I moved to Colorado in June of 2025 in an attempt to save my life. I am not exaggerating.
My life was seemingly amazing; my friends are top notch, I had a semi-thriving photography business, I was pretending like I loved my nannying jobs, I was pretending like I could afford my bills, I was hosting amazing events for a social club and it really looked like everything was full and great. It WAS to a certain extent, but I was also hanging on by a thread. I was deep in the trenches of people pleasing and it felt like there was no way out. No way to speak up to people and no way to say what was needed. No way to gain financial bearings and no way to find myself in it all.
So I did what everyone on Earth recommends, I ran from my problems. LOL.
No but for real, it really felt like the only way through was on a completely different path and so far that is proven to be true. I moved in with my brother and his cat and got my own cat, who I am concerningly obsessed with. I laid on the couch for months trying to find my purpose and sense of self because everything I built was on everyone else’s hopes and expectations of me. I was trying desperately to do the right things and make sure everyone was happy with me but somewhere along the line lost every bit of who I am to my core.
I am not sharing all of this for a pity party, but just to shed some light on where I am at and where I have come from. I decided to start a personal instagram for just posting my life and what I like to do and at the same time I needed to quickly find my sense of creativity again. I lost it to the point where I was convinced I wasn’t actually a creative person, I just forced myself to be in order to keep my business going. But after some deep diving into my childhood; looking at art I made in 1st grade, remembering how I used to long for art class to be every day instead of once a week, and rewatching old claymation movies, I realized the creative person I know and love has been inside of me since I was born. I am McKenzie and I am creative. It is in my blood.
This is silly but I remember the day I stopped caring about art in high school (the day my bf broke up with me) because it made me feel too much, and I didn’t care to be creative again until I unexpectedly started a photography business 10 years ago. Looking back now, I wish I would’ve let the feelings lead me instead of stop me, because I would be in a much different place.
All of that to say, once I moved to Colorado I really needed to find my creative self again and decided to start doing any project I could find or come up with and began calling it “50 First Projects” (like 50 First Dates…) on my instagram. It has been so fun and motivating to just TRY things again. To see what I like, see what feels easy and enjoyable, and even what feels too hard or not like my “thing”. I just want to try it all and see what sticks and share even the fails with everyone along the way.
It doesn’t matter how you do it, or if you do it well, just that you do it again and again.
I hope to share more of my bigger projects here but encourage you to join me for the time being:
